I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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