My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
