Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
