I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
