now i know why i became what i already was.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
