I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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