its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
