let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
