I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
