Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
