Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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