She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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