Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
