god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
