I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
