I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
