Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
