im having a threesome with these popsicles
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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