We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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