Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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