definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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