I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
