Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
