see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
