I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
