His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Define "chronic" masturbator.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
