It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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