All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
