Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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