then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
