I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
