K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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