I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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