Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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