Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
