But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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