Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I love you.
Bad choice
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
