i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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