I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
