when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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