the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
