why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
