just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
now i know why i became what i already was.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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