I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
