No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
