we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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