You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
