it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
