don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
