i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
