this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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