Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
